I was browsing Facebook last night and one of the pages I follow, Still Standing Magazine, shared this article:
I read it. Then I re-read it and my eyes were as wide as could be. I could have written this. It was SPOT ON. Spot on for what I experienced last fall, spot on for what I personally went through, and spot on for even what I still experience today.
I don't know what it is lately...maybe the hormones or what, but I have felt very very passionate about my story, sharing it, and hoping that others can see it, read it, hear it and maybe offer some compassion to others they come across going through this same thing.
Because, exactly how this article reads, I experienced soooooo much of that pro-life hypocrisy first-hand with my Catholic employer...and heck, even my Catholic insurance. They are so pro-life for all of the 'threatened by abortion' babies, but where they heck was the pro-life support in my corner for my baby who I chose to carry but was given a fatal diagnosis?! They were absolutely no where to be found. And that outrages me...and infuriates me that others clearly have felt this way too. In my opinion, you cannot be pro-life but turn your back on those babies whose diagnosis is anything less than healthy. We're still paying off medical bills for the insurance company doing this to us -- essentially turning their backs and declining coverage (do you know how expensive amnios are?!?!) once Clark was given a fatal diagnosis. SO pro-life of them. And the same holds true with my former employer: I got a few 'praying for you all' messages, BUT THAT WAS IT. Where was the support, the flowers, the meals, the phone calls to check in on ME -- where did those go from this pro-life crowd!? AHHHH, by the wayside. Because it sure seems to me that with some, you are pro-life for the healthy babies but go silent in your marches and support when a baby gets a less than favorable diagnosis. I've felt this first hand. And although I feel like I'm in a much better place moving on and cutting ties with that employer, I still feel very triggered, very hurt, very saddened for our Clark that he wasn't given the same treatment and respect that these 'healthy' babies they're marching for are given. And that hurts. And will probably continue to hurt for a long time.
Whatever your viewpoints, whether pro-life or pro-choice, they don't prohibit you from having compassion towards another person who loses a child. And I'm putting this out there today, and will keep doing so, to hopefully offer some insight into the dark side of losing a pregnancy and baby and how the worst thing you can do for someone in this situation is stay silent...I've said that before and I'm saying it again today.