Patrick Tales | 08

It really hasn't been THAT LONG since my last installment of Patrick Tales, but, alas, this kid has said some funny stuff lately and I just HAD to get it blogged so I wouldn't forget it.  I should note that a lot of these came from KiKi -- which is AWESOME.  I love that she texts me the funny stuff he says so I can include it in his Patrick Tales blog postings.

And I apologize for the bodily fluid nature of some of these...he is a boy, and for whatever reason boys are really good at talking about these bathroom items...so, I thought I'd include them anyways to paint a lovely picture of what my Patrick is like at almost 3.5 years old.

I thought I'd start off with a lovely screenshot from a Facebook post of something Patrick said...cause it was so darn funny.  And I'm pretty sure he's right; I feel like 99% positive that #3 is another little lady.

Kiki: ew, there's a dead squirrel! 

P: awwwwww, he's so cute, maybe he's tired...or hungry...or thirsty

Kiki: maybe...

P: bye dead squirrel.

Kiki: {after a small fart} excuse me!

P: was that a kiss for me?!

P: is that a police officer?

Kiki: yes.

P: my daddy is a police officer...he's our hero, I love my daddy.

P: What we gonna do for tomorrow?

Me: You're gonna go to school and mom is gonna go to work.

P: So after nap I go to school?

Me: No, after you to go to sleep at night then you'll go to school.

P: So after nap then?!

Kiki: oh look the suns out.

P: suns out guns out!

P: I done. {on the potty}

Kate: are the dingleberries gone?

P: {singing} jingle bells! jingle bells!

P: {sees commercial on TV} MOM! MOM!! You want gel pens?

Me: No buddy, I don't need gel pens.

P: That's okay. I get them for you for Christmas.

-- later that day at Walgreens...

P: MOMMMMMM!!! Gel pens!

Me: What buddy?!!

P: They have your gel pens at this store!

Me: {When Rosie was starting to walk on her own} Ro walk to me and I'll give you a treat!

P: mom I'll walk to you too can I have a treat?

Me: no! You already know how to walk!

P: but I want a treat!

Me: did you poop a lot today buddy?

P: Yeah I been throwing up.

Me: YOU THREW UP?!!

P: yeah! Not out of my mouth my poop threw up.

Me: oh so you had diarrhea?

P: yeahhhhhhh! Poop poop poop diarrheaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Me: Patrick, please go try and go potty before you go to bed.

P: I don't have to go!
Me: just try buddy.

P: {screaming from inside the bathroom} the pee is not comin' and the poo is not cominnnnnnn'!

I'm sure my mom-goggles are on in full-force, but he is just the sweetest most funniest little guy I've ever met.  This age is SO MUCH FUN and I cannot wait to see what he continues to grow into!  Never change little man, you keep doing you.