21w5d: Then & Now

I posted this pic on social media earlier today... 21w5d with #5 (left) and 21w5d with Clark (right).

This was my caption:

21w5d today. This point in Clark’s pregnancy I woke up and felt something was wrong...so off to the hospital we went and we learned very quickly our little guy no longer had a heartbeat. We had to wait nearly 36 hours before we met him and at the time I wanted him out right then, but, looking back, I’m glad I had another day and a half with him snuggled up inside me. We were able to do maternity pics (which I’ll forever cherish) and I snapped one last mirror selfie {yellow dress} before the whirlwind of the day of October 29, 2018 would onset. Today though, almost exactly 9 months later, Clark’s sweet sibling is moving and a’groovin’ in my belly, very much alive and hopefully nestled in there to cook for another 15 or so weeks. When Monday hits I’ll be 22 weeks, a milestone I never made it to with Clark, so I’m savoring each and every second of everyday with this new babe...and taking as many mirror selfies as I can to remember this pregnancy after loss journey we’re on. This babe is at the forefront of my mind constantly, but so is his/her big brother too...who I pray is keeping a good watch over his little sibling to get us to c-section day on 11/4. 🙏🏼💙🌈

That sums it up immensely.  10.28.18 is a date that will never ever leave my memory, and it is when I was 21w5d with Clark and we learned his heart had stopped beating.  I cannot tell you the emotions that have swirled around me this weekend during these dates that we had so much come crashing around us with Clark...and yet with this babe everything is seemingly pointing in the opposite direction that everything with this rainbow babe is going well.

I truly believe Clark is watching over his brother or sister closely and making sure we get to his/her 11/4 birthdate in just over 3 months.  I hope and pray every night things continue to go well and Clark can give me strength from above to keep going and stay positive.

I have another appointment and big ultrasound on Monday with the high risk OB and I'm nervous yet anxiously excited for it...hoping that we continue to keep getting good news and no surprises have popped up since my last appointment.

Oh November, please get here quickly!  We cannot wait to meet this sweet little rainbow and Clark's little sibling!!!